For those of you who have way too much time on your hands, contemplate your arses off
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Carl Gustav JungIt is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
Alfred AdlerNot a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
Brendan GillGirls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
Benny HillPut your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
Albert EinsteinOf the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercouse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark TwainAs to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent.
SocratesA husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Helen RowlandA bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
Don QuinnMarriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
Mae WestMarriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Oscar WildeMy advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
SocratesHe who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
Lao TsuNever invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.
Billy RoseA rich man's joke is always funny.
ProverbNever insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
Cordel HullWhen one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.
Dylan ThomasI like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
Winston ChurchillThough I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
William ShakespeareA man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Oscar WildeThere are three faithful friends—an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin FranklinAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar WildeI can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar WildeTo cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times.
Mark TwainA conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
Arthur BlockCommon sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert EinsteinChildren are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next.
Franklin P. JonesWhat is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Richard HarknessYouth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day.
Benito MussoliniThe trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate
it.
Franklin P. JonesAll my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should
have been more specific. --
Jane WagnerBigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Oscar WildeI am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because
I hate plants.
A. Whitney BrownExperience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a mistake
when you make it again.
F. P. Jones"Sure, everyone always said 'Socrates what is the meaning of life?' or
'Socrates how can I find happiness?', did anyone ever say 'Socrates
hemlock is poison.'
?"
Socrates right before his deathAdvice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn't.
Erica JongThe direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is
generally employed only by small children and large nations.
David FriedmanMan invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily TomlinStart every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FieldsThe most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
Isaac Asimov
Forum 
guild im in now is basicly dead anyways
